The Hype: I can’t bear to repeat all the hype for this race. If you’re a fan, you’ve read all the hype and are completely up to date. The only thing [...]]]>

The Hype: I can’t bear to repeat all the hype for this race. If you’re a fan, you’ve read all the hype and are completely up to date. The only thing lacking was for the flag to drop.

Jerry: I sure wish this Maybefield stuff would end, but it keeps going on and on like a bad record….like a record of a 2 year old little girl trying to learn how to play the violin. And no, the little girl is not a prodigy. She plays, and the hair on her cat stands straight up. But with the Playoffs over, the pundits will have little else to report about. Yuck.

The End?: A number of drivers are at the end of their rope, and at present have no place to go in 2012. DavieRootman, VickersVapoRub, and DavieRagan are some of the more high profile drivers. All of ‘em are talented, but not “A” caliber. Thus, they may be relegated to lesser fortified teams, or start-n-stoppers, or the Busch League. This could be a very humbling experience for each of them, and about this time, each is wondering why they didn’t stay in college and get an MBA. Sometimes ‘day jobs’ aren’t that profitable.

Da Race: Pure and simple: it was a classic…..one to be remembered for years, and even to be immortalized. What can you say when it was obvious from the start that Smoke needed to win the race to win the Championship? And he did just that. We saw a dichotomy of racing styles, with da Flipster playing steady-eddy, and Smoke taking chance after chance to drive to the front. Whoever was your favorite driver, tonight you had to admire the tenacity with which Smoke drove. Not to diminish da Flipster’s efforts, because he showed a lot of heart, but Smoke took every adversity and turned it into an achievement. When das Kurt broke his tranny and spewed parts over the track (and into Smoke’s grille), not to worry. Twice in the race Smoke was shunted to the back and managed to race his way to the front, passing 76 cars in total.

So yes, as the closest Playoffs in history, NA$CAR did come up with a Points system that held our attention to the very last laps of the last race. Will it happen again? Who knows? But it got our attention, and hopefully the attention of those fans that have drifted away from our sport in the past few years.

My annual gab: Tony, smile while you can. You are the 2011 NA$CAR Champion. But remember…..come 12:01 AM on New Year’s day it will be 2012, and (in my mind) you be “last year’s” champion. So spend the next six weeks and two days polishing up your new trophy, and know in your heart that you beat the best of the bunch on November 20, 2011.

Heaps of 3’s all over yer local Office Depot,

Racing Maniac #3

But da Flipster and Smoke kept us on our toes. and (for once) I’m looking forward to the last race of the year…..

Tango-ed: Good to hear that NA$CAR will be testing at [...]]]>
Yes, a good race. Woulda been a tad boring without the likes of Goeff Bovine and the noteworthy ‘payback’.

But da Flipster and Smoke kept us on our toes. and (for once) I’m looking forward to the last race of the year…..

Tango-ed: Good to hear that NA$CAR will be testing at Daytona to help eliminate the ‘two tango’ drafting. A few fans may say that tango-ing is an evolutionary process, but put me down as a naysayer. Can you imagine The Intimidator having to rely on another car to push him to victory? I think not.

Nasty: Everyone knows his current state of affairs, but the outstanding question may be about his future. If Kyle blows his top one more time, he may be out of a ride at Gibbs. Thus, this would be the second time he would be fired from a quality ride for having an unsavory demeanor. Driving skills?…fantastic. A powder keg?….yes, until proven otherwise. If he strikes out at Gibbs, his only other alternative might be to become an independent owner/driver, and the track record of late for this type of venture is not too bright. Just ask RoboGordo (Smoke doesn’t count, cuz he’s not ‘independent’).

Nasty ll: Joe Gibbs and Nasty did their thing at the press conference. Yada, yada, yada. But did you happen to note that they were sorry to everyone in the world…..except to Ron Hornaday, Jr. and KHI???

Nasty lll: Speaking about Kyle, I wonder what happened to the Doublemint “look alike” contest? It wouldn’t surprise me if the contest fell flat on its face. After all, what sane male would want to admit that he looked like Kyle? Well, I just Googled it, and sure enough someone actually came forth. Thank goodness for him the contest didn’t get much attention from the media, because Kyle looks like one of those “Walmart people”.

Da Race: Actually, better than most. When you have the two Points leaders racing for the win, all is not bad. And there were enough side-bar issues to make things interesting. Take, for example, Geoff Bodine. Yes, please take him. He has no right to be on the same track as 98% of the drivers (even in the Busch League). Yes, he had a distinguished career, but time has passed him by. Thank goodness, with all the available talent who will be out of rides next year, there will be more talented drivers available for the ‘start and park’ crowd.

Red Bull: There seems a glimmer of hope that this team (under some format) will be around next year. For example, Cole Whitt was given an unsponsored ride at Phoenix, and it was noted that he was a super contender as determined by the Red Bull honchos. Thus, he is almost certain to have a ride next Spring. Yeah, for all we know, the next owner of Red Bull will be Red Bull Inc. of North America.

Payback: Out of the clear blue Arizona sky, Mattyboy started to falter about half way through the race. He had been running very strong, and in the lead some of the time, but started dropping back. Then, out of the crowd of cars comes VickersVapORub, who rammed right into Matty’s back bumper. Wall job for Mattyboy, and into the garage for repairs. This was an obvious payback for a nudge that Vickers received at Martinsville, and Matty wasn’t too shook up about it. After all, in NA$CAR, caca happens.

Nasty lll: Having to start in the 42nd place due to an engine problem, Kyle methodically drove to the front and was in 3rd place when his new engine crapped out. Bummer, dude, but you had it coming.

Hendricks: OK, what the heck happened to the Hendrick stable mates? They looked sick most of the day, and Gordo probably wants his old crew chief back. But then, maybe not. Been there, done that (yikes, am I destined for clichés?). Gordo without brakes? Gimme a break. The bottom line was that this organization was not adequately prepared to race at the ‘new’ Phoenix layout.

Call it a loan: Just past half way, the whole pit crew for the UPS 6 car swapped places with the pit crew for AJ’s 43 car, signifying that the Petty organization is deeeep within the pockets of Roush. This certainly slaps the ‘max 4 car’ ruling in the kisser (but then, Hendrick did it with the tie to Stewart-Haas). Yeah, there oughta be a tad more control over the insidious linking of teams within NA$CAR.

It’s near: Yes, the end of the season is drawing upon us. One more race and we can start chilling out for a few months. We can start watching the whole NFL game, take up yoga, or learn how to prune roses. Hey, maybe we can take our spouse out for brunch. The choices are almost unlimited. To some of us, we can even ‘get a life’.

Heaps of 3’s all over yer case of Red Bull,

Racing Maniac #3

I think not……

Jerry: Jeremy Mayfield’s attorney says Mayfield had no knowledge of the stolen items nor the methamphetamine found on his property that lead to his arrest Tuesday. And to that I reply: Bull Excrement !! About this [...]]]> Yes, Texas is fast, but does it compare to last weekends wreck fest?

I think not……

Jerry: Jeremy Mayfield’s attorney says Mayfield had no knowledge of the stolen items nor the methamphetamine found on his property that lead to his arrest Tuesday. And to that I reply: Bull Excrement !! About this time, his attorney should start worrying about whether or not he’s gonna get paid for his services. Jerry should be dropped like a hot rock, perhaps in the two-seater out house from whence he came.

The Rickster: A very close call. He might want to think about borrowing anything from JJ again, unless he sees a complete maintenance record beforehand. It might be safer if they got a larger plane, and parachuted down to their destination. Or they could go via Amtrak. Other options exist rather than a small plane.

Bad Boy: What an idiot. But I guess he’s a similar chip off the same block. Kyle needs to attend the same Anger Management class that his bro did. And it would only be fitting if NA$CAR asked to see his diploma once he completed it. And did you see where 55% of the people polled wanted Gibbs to fire him? If nothing else, NA$CAR needs to put this egomaniac on a short leash….a very short leash.

DISH Network IPTV

Numbers: Danica’s going with the #10 in the Busch league next year. RoboGordo was adamant about keeping the 7, so she fell back to her karting days for the 10. Childress is bringing the #3 out of mothballs for grandson Austin Dillon next year in the Busch league, but said there are no intentions “now” to take the #3 back to Cup with Austin. If Austin brings the glory back in the Busch league, expect the #3 to resurface in Cup (but probably not a black #3).

RoboGordo: I’m still questioning why Robo is not in the seat of his #7 car, and is allowing I’mSore-enson to race it. I read that Robo’s on probation until Dec 31st due to a March confrontation with another driver, but usually this would not preclude him from driving. If anyone has some solid info on this, please shoot the word to me.

Da Race: I actually dozed off during some of the first 200 laps. But I did note that in that time period there was one Yellow and four Green pit stops. The most notable item during the race was with 95 to go, JJ lost it and spun into the infield. Yes, “Five Time” had another brain fart.

Fumes: It was almost pathetic seeing Jburton tooling around at the end, trying to stretch his fuel to the finish line. But alas, it was not to be. No one thought he could make it, and he proved us right with 5 laps to go.

Smoke: Prior to the race, Smoke was boisterous that the Flipster should be looking over his shoulder. You could really tell that Smoke was on a mission, and thank goodness his car was tuned to perfection. But the Flipster was close behind at the finish, and remains in the Points lead by a scant 3 points. Unless there’s an unforeseen miracle coming, it appears the Championship will be between these two dudes.

Kudos: To Kasey, Mattyboy and da Biff for hangin’ in there. Bowowyer snuck in there at the end with a 9th. AJ and Marcos played tough all day. And good grief….do I spy Jr. in the top 10???

Heaps of 3’s all over yer local Office Depot store,

Racing Maniac #3

OK, before the race I was getting bored with most of the on-track performances.

But this race woke me up. Yes indeed, NA$CAR is capable of offering the fans an exciting race package.

And I’ll say it again: Bristol, this is the way racing oughta be………

Newsless: What do you report [...]]]>

OK, before the race I was getting bored with most of the on-track performances.

But this race woke me up. Yes indeed, NA$CAR is capable of offering the fans an exciting race package.

And I’ll say it again: Bristol, this is the way racing oughta be………

Newsless: What do you report on when there is little (if any) news to report on? Some would drag up the dregs with such headlines as: “Can JJ rise up from the smelly armpit of the Championship and win another title?”. Or “How can Jr. look himself in the mirror each week and proclaim to see a driver on the other side?”. It’s either fodder like this, or taking up space writing about what sponsor is hop scotching this week. It’s almost like NA$CAR has gone bland…right in the middle of the Playoffs. Heck, there’s more news in the World Poker Tour than there is on almost any track these days.

I digress: OK, so there was a small blurb about how Happy and da Biffmeister played bumper tag during the brief practice laps at Martinsville. Based on the lack of news items, one might assume that Brian the Brain quietly asked them to ‘have at it’ so they could stir up some controversy before the race. After all, how do you really follow up from a World Series like we just had?

It’s so slow….: that news about DavieRagan being without a solid ride in 2012 rises to the surface. Well, duuuuh. We’ve known this for at least a couple of months now. Yeah, this is getting ridiculous. We’d be better off learning something more important…..like which driver just got hemorrhoids.

Da Race: OK, I’m not bored any more. This was actually a great race. And take heed, Bristol Motor Speedway — this is the way we want to see short track races run !!! If I’m counting correctly, there were 17 Yellow’s, and most of them were for wrecks. And there were a few more wrecks when they didn’t pull the Yellow out. So all in all, we were very pleased with the action on the track. The Chasers were not afraid to mix it up, so we got our money worth.

VapORub: Brian Vickers sure did light up the track. He was involved in so many wrecks and near misses that I lost count. At the end of the race his car was a hulk of bent metal. Not to worry, cuz this team is non-existent in a few weeks.

Cream: Cream again rose to the top, with 8 of the top 10 finishers in the Playoffs. Good to see DennyHambone and Jr. in the mix. The non-Playoff top 10’ers were Jburton and TrueaxleJr, but Trueaxle seemed to arrive there under the cloak of darkness.

Da Flipster: You’ve gotta question why Carl was tooling around in the back of the pack all day, getting passed, then getting the Lucky Dog several times. The way his car was tuned (or unturned) he was lucky to get into the Top 10 but the end of the race. So count your blessings, Carl. You’ve got a mere 8 points over the second place team (Smoke), with only 3 more races left in the season. Lucky for you that there are some cookie cutters ahead of you.

Bad Boy: Kyle ran a decent race, but with 37 laps to go, got into a 3 car fandango. But his pit crew let him down in a big way when they sent him back on the track without tightening his LF tire. Off it came, rolling down the track behind him, and Kyle shooting sparks along the way with his drum rotor scraping the ground. Attention JGR: You might want to work on this before the next race……

Kudos: To Smoke for not giving up when he decided to pit late in the game, worried about a vibration. To Dinger, who was mingling with the big boys all day. To CaseOfMears, who seems to be driving in a more dedicated manner of late. And to Bradski, who gave a cavalier interview before the race (this dude’s got some moxie).

Heaps of 3’s all over yer local Office Depot,

Racing Maniac #3

A day (or more late) and a few dollars shorter.

Such is the life of a wannabe penman.

Delay: Sorry for the delay, but we were on a silver bird, getting back from a funeral. Met some very strange people there, and rubbed shoulders with Ralph Lauren. How’s that for name dropping? [...]]]>

A day (or more late) and a few dollars shorter.

Such is the life of a wannabe penman.

Delay: Sorry for the delay, but we were on a silver bird, getting back from a funeral. Met some very strange people there, and rubbed shoulders with Ralph Lauren. How’s that for name dropping? The biggest thrill was arriving back home, safe and sound. I watched the race via DVR, and it was pretty good. And now, some of my biased thoughts:

Tats: The offer of free tats at Talladega roused my attention. Sorry, but I consider tattoos (especially gigantic ones) as a passing fad, and one of which a large number of people will have disdain for later in their lives. Yeah, I consider abnormal tats (anything bigger than a half dollar) as something akin to (picture this…) seeing a 95 year old woman who had a breast augmentation. The only difference is that the breast job can be undone….

Diehard: Ever since I first heard of The Intimidator (and his legend), I became one of his fans. Since his passing, though, I’ve been looking for a replacement. Unfortunately, no driver has risen to that level, and alas, there’s not one on the horizon. In the meantime, though, I’ve been saving oodles of $’s because I’m not picking out a young driver that switches teams at random. Intimidator ll, where are you????

Da Race: I thought the lower radiator temps would change the method of driving, but nooo, they determined that if the pusher was slightly askew, he could get enough air in his grille to safely run in that position for laps on end. Hey, this isn’t racing, it’s dancing. Sorry, but the tango sucks.

Hambone: Weird to see Denny get hung out to dry as the odd man out in the first 20 laps. Something tells me that his enormous ego has shriveled to the size of a pea, and it won’t be long before he’s sitting on the couch of a sports shrink. No matter that he finished 8th, because for the better part of the race, no one loved him (even like a brother).

Smoke: The first two times Smoke tried to lead a lap by sweeping around the Rocketman, it flat out didn’t work (but only by a few feet). But I guess if you keep trying to do something, eventually you’re gonna get it right.

Idiots: They keep trying to improve the old Super Speedway game plan of smoozing around at the back of the pack until it’s late in the race, then shooting forward for the win. But they waited too long at this race. Da Flipster was the only one to get remotely close to the front, finishing 11th, but the rest of them looked like idiots. And it serves JJ and Jr. right for playing the game. Jr. wanted to run up there but was voted down. And we wonder who’s calling the shots at HMS (Jr. is obviously very low on the totem pole).

Gordo: When he lost his pusher (SirMark) due to a too close encounter of the third kind, Gordo was left without a dancing partner. On the next restart he was hankerin’ for a dance with the Baynemeister, but the “Fords and Chevy’s don’t mix” conundrum came into play. Bummer, Dude. 27th place sort of wipes you out of the Championship picture. How humbling is it to be trailing Jr. by 8 precious points? Your old crew chief must be quietly laughing in his pillow at night.

Kudos: To Bowowyer for the gutsy move on the last lap. A nice slap on the kisser to RCR for not re-upping you next year. To Blarney for a surprisingly good run, and finish. To the Red Bulls for sticking together. To Mikey for a 9th place finish (sort of makes you lust for more, doesn’t it Mikey?).

Heaps of 3’s all over yer Chevy,

Racing Maniac #3

Joey:   Home Depot must be smarting about their loss of exposure with Joey Phenom.   They’re [...]]]>

Joey:   Home Depot must be smarting about their loss of exposure with Joey Phenom.   They’re pulling back some sponsorship in 2012, and Dollar General will fill their void.  It’s a definite step up for Dollar General, but about 3 steps down for Joey.  The next thing you know, Home Depot will move on to greener pastures, and Joey may be running around the track touting push-up brassieres. 

Old Coot:   You know you’re an old coot if……this Charlotte race is your 825^th start in this series.   And no, SirMark, there is no “Seniors tour” in NA$CAR.    If you want to keep tooling around the track, you’re gonna have to do it with a few drivers still in diapers. 

Tango:   Good for Joie (Chitwood lll, Pres. of Daytona Speedway).    His poll to racing fans indicates “Two-by-two racing was a novelty that has worn off”.    Now that he has a fixation on this conundrum, what can he possibly do about it?  Maybe the lower water temp rule and the ‘no greasing the bumpers’ will eliminate it.   We’ll get a better idea of this next week (Talladega).

Invocation:   It was really great to see Trevor Bayne do the invocation for the race.   We’ve seen Gibbs do it, but to my recollection, this was the first one by a driver (or the first time in a long time).  

Star Spangled Banner:   The gal that sang it was pretty good, but she stretched it out like she was waiting for the jets to fly over (not gonna happen at night)….or she was bathing in the spotlight and wanted to get a lot of quality air time.

Start Your Engines:    I know this job is awarded to certain companies or personalities, but giving a commercial during this time slot is going over the edge.    The next thing you know, one of the guys running for President will start his slot with “10 reasons why I should be elected”. 

Da Biff:   About 1/3 rd the way through the race, da Biff was leading the race, came in for gas and tires, and suffered the consequence of a missing lug nut.  From first to 27^th in a heartbeat, and he never really recovered from it.   And slapping the wall two times later in the race didn’t help his cause.   Sometimes when it rains, it pours.

Kyle:  On the other hand, Kyle started from the rear, and by about 2/3rds the way through the race he was in first place.   He was riding a proverbial rocket ship.

Bayneiac:   Trevor was doing another exceptionally good job, but his crew chief must’ve had a brain fart, causing him to run out of gas while on the track.   From running good, to running 5 laps down.   Bummer, dude.

Gordo:  They never really had their act together all night, causing him to languish in mid-pack.  With 42 laps to go, he managed to get into an unfortunate situation, when DavieRagan, KaseOfKahne, and Gordo were running 5^th/6^th/7^th.   Ragan went up into Kasey, who went up and nudged Gordo and sent him spinning to the infield.   He ended up one lap down, and his hopes for a Championship is going down the tubes.

JJ:   Talking about things going South…..JJ never really got his car tuned the way we thought they were capable of.   The 48 team really didn’t “own” this track on this particular night, and with 17 laps to go he ended up doing a horrendous nose job on the outside wall.   The impact was so significant that both of his rear tires left the ground.   But thanks to the safety devices, he walked away from it.   (Unfortunately, in the process, he’s also walking away from his chances for a “6 pack”.)

Jr:   Yawn.   I’m sorry, I should have said YAWN.

Kudos:   To MattyBoy for a solid run.  To Kyle and da Flipster for trying to be The Little Engine That Could.   An excellent run by Marcos for a 5^th, and AJDinger for a 7^th. 

Heaps of 3’s all over yer Fluidmaster (whatever the heck that is),

Racing Maniac  #3