Track Trash – Cliffs of Dover

What a race. Leave it to Smoke and MrPigtail to add venom to our afternoon’s enjoyment.

DennyHambone had an unusual day, too. One could hardly take a nap through all the excitement.

Numbers: The only way Jr. got the 88 for next year was that Roberto was negotiating with Kelly. Had Roberto’s begotten son been involved, it never woulda happened. So chalk Bobby up as one of the Good Guys. His son Dougie is still a dweeb.

Fluids: Jr. signing with Pepsi is gonna be hard to swallow for some of the true Earnhardt fans. For many years, The Old Man was firmly on the Coke bandwagon, and was pitted against Pepsi’s VonderBoy. Now we’re asked to change our preference again. My, how time changes the landscape. I guess I’m from the old school. I can taste the difference between Miller Lite and Bud Light, and I can taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke. Junior, you can do whatever paddles your financial canoe, but I’m sticking with Bud and Coke.

Rude: A note to RicklessRude: sit out the Talladega race, too. If anyone cares to remember, KennyYada has a good performance record at the super speedways, finishing in the top 5 in a couple of memorable races. Picture the 88 pushing the 8 for a win. How cool would that be ???

Mikie: He may speak like a dufus, but he has some business acumen. He offered DavieRootman a contract that will need 6 lawyers to figure out what it says. Since they don’t have a solid sponsor for next year, expect the contract to contain some huge potholes….covered up with some branches to make it look like they aren’t there. Davie: don’t walk….. run for the nearest exit………….

Da Race: One of the more exciting races in a long time. This one beat Bristol by a wide margin. With a record 12 Cautions, racing galore, and some heavy wall jobs thrown in, what’s not to like?

Smoke: Well, he blew his top earlier in the race than normal. On Lap 20, he was slowed by Maynerd while trying to exit the pits, TerribleTony bumped him twice while still on pit road, then slammed him in the side during the warm up lap. That’s right Smoke, take your frustration out on a third tier driver. It’s like the Bully on the playground pushing everyone around. Me thinks you’ve had one too many Cokes, cuz you’re waaay too hyped to be driving a car.

Pigtail: For a demure person off the track, Mr. Pigtail certainly has a short temper while racing. They don’t allow any ‘spirits’ for a sponsor, but he makes up for it by cussing and blowing his stack. This afternoon he went to Hambone’s garage stall and berated Denbone for ramming into him. He jawboned Denny, then flicked his visor down as added emphasis. You big bully. Hambone was belted into his seat at the time and had no way to retaliate. Yep, Mr. Pigtail must be a wolf in a sheep’s clothing.

Playoffs: Nine of the twelve Playoff contenders had problems, some more serious than others. In the future, this may be the track that all Playoff contenders rethink their game plan, cuz it’s far more hazardous than we thought.

The Big One: At Dover?? Yep, this track has narrow front and backstretches, and there’s no place to hide when something happens. FlatEarsBusch slapped the wall, and summarily collected I’mSore-nson, FlyinRyan, KaseOfKahne, Truaxle, KidKyle, JeffboGreen, BeamMeUpScotty, Yelleybean, Saddleburns, JJ, and Blobonte. With all the debris, it allowed us to multitask and watch some NFL action.

MattyBoy: This dude was finally getting racy, then we heard that he was having alternater problems. Not to worry, said Robbie. Yeah, but what about all that smoke that we saw with a mere 27 laps to go. From a contender to a pretender in a heart beat……..

Kudos: To the Flipster (aka Mr. Concrete). To Da Biff, who finally had a decent race. To Jr. for making something happen. He actually resembled his Old Man out there today. To SirMark and his first run in a DEI car.

Heaps of 3’s all over yer local Office Depot,
Racing Maniac #3, little e