Track Trash – Mucho Stripes

Photo by Icon Sports Media

Am I awake yet? Is this race over yet? Far too many yellows, even for Darlington. But the Old Geezer won another one………

Geezers: OK, so SirMark’s gonna take a poke at another full time ride in ’10. Goodie for him, but this leaves a promising driver (BradK) out on his ear. One way they can make this work (under the max 4 car rule) is if Jr. gets a car into Cup next year. He’s been toying with the idea, but now the Markmeister is pushing his hand. Could there be some back room negotiations with Rick? Hmmm.

Saturnized: Penske buying Saturn? Sounds like he’s interested, and if it works out, he could turn this company with the sometimes weird looking cars into a powerhouse. Don’t tell me that their sports car is weird, though. It’s the cream of the crop. It would only take some cosmetic changes in styling to bring customers out of their closets.

The Spoiler: Is NA$CAR secretly trying to vary the rear spoiler for future races at Daytona and Talladega in order to get the speeds down and make the cars safer to drive? Well, it appears that Gordo and his twin JJ have offered this suggestion, and it has not fallen on deaf ears. Unless you slow the cars down, the only safe way to run those races is by driving a Sherman tank.

Ouch: Gordo said he’s gonna have a back treatment between the All Star race and the Coke 600. One interesting thing he mentioned was that “some of the trauma that my back has gone through, maybe through some wrecks or something”. Excuse me, Gordhead, I can’t remember the last time you had a roof-job. As a matter of fact, comparing your racing career to 98.3% of the other drivers, you’ve led a charmed life. As I said a couple of weeks ago, hey….maybe yer gettin’ old, dude.

Danica: Don’t believe all the hype in the news about the possibility of Danica jumping to NA$CAR. This is an old negotiation ploy (to get a better IRL contract next year). There is no way she would enter Cup without spending time in a Truck or in the Busch league, and her humongous ego would prevent her from doing any of that sort of training. Besides, would she have the stamina to drive the whole Cup schedule? Like I said, this is all a smoke screen to get a better IRL contract.

Maybefield: Jerry just got suspended for failing the drug test. He can’t drive, nor can he own any car until the suspension is lifted. Of course, Jerry said it was a combination of prescribed and over the counter medicine. Of course he said that. You would too, if you got caught with your knickers down.

Switcheroo?: The rumors are still swirling around that SirMark may lose his Crew Chief. Duhhh, I wonder who he would switch with? LeFarte? Das Knaus? Jr.? Gee, maybe it could be Jr., ya think? The old adage “where there’s smoke, there’s fire” would certainly come into play on any other team, but remember, we’re dealing with the indecisive ‘nice guy’ Rickster.

Prerace: The anthem was being sung, and most of the drivers had their babes on their arms. No babes on the arms of Jr., Kasey, or RoboGordo. I guess they’re having too much fun to commit…..

Da Race: I don’t know about you, but watching a race for 5 hours is a tad too long (about an hour too long). Maybe we need to pare this back to the Southern 400, and somehow cut out about half of the record breaking Yellows. The poor fans at the track didn’t leave their seats until midnight.

Speedless: Scott Speed failed to qualify in his RedBull machine, and for some strange reason he ended up in JoeNemo’s car. (OK, it was because RedBull threw a LOT of money at JoeNemo, and he quickly succumbed to it). Only a few laps into the race, Scotty brilliantly showed his ineptitudeness (a long word, but to the point) by crashing MaxPappis. Not long after that, Jr. made another pit road blunder by over-shooting his pit stall. You can chalk Speed’s up to inexperience, but Jr.’s is another of his outright boneheaded moves. Jr., at the next race, remember this: when you engage the gears, it’s time to also engage your brain.

Light my fire: Mikey’s night of being an owner/driver was one to forget. He dropped an engine and almost got his curly hair burned off in the process, then his other two cars were forcibly ejected from the race. The only good thing to come from his fiery demise was a lot of air time for NAPA when his car was towed off (showing the NAPA logo on the hood).

Downs: UPS got some negative air time within a short time frame. DavieRagan crashed DennyHambone on lap 163, then on laps 185 and 197 he brought out two more Yellows when he spun by himself. No matter how they make the ads, Davie just doesn’t have the same type of humor that DJ had. He may be able to drive (although tonight’s experience was debatable), but he flat out just can’t act.

Attaboys: Eating another dose of humble pie, kudos to SirMark. He may be an old goat, but it takes an extreme amount of talent to win at Darlington, and NOT get a stripe. Das Knaus deserves credit for getting the 48 car into 2nd place. It wasn’t pretty, but he eventually got it done. Super kudos to Smoke and Rocketman for their great finish. Joey looked racy for awhile, but BradK eventually ate his lunch.

All-Star: Remember to watch the All-Star race next Saturday night on Speed. Aside from the Twin 150’s and the superspeedways, this could be another exciting evening or racing.
Heaps of 3’s all over yer box of Cheez-its,
Racing Maniac #3