Track Trash – Cauliflower-ornia

A nice race….if you like to see JJ spreading exhaust fumes over the rest of the competitors.

I’m using the word ‘competitors’ loosely, cuz most of ‘em ended up 2 laps down. In that respect it was a strange race, cuz no one ended up 1 lap down….they were all 2 laps down (or more).

We NA$CAR fans need to see some beatin’ and bangin’. If we’re lucky it’ll happen next weekend.

Rivalry: OK, we get a real good rivalry going on, then NA$CAR puts the clamps on it via a 6 race ‘probation’. This was the juice we were waiting for, and now NA$CAR (in their infinite wisdom) has thrown a red flag on it. HOGWASH. Let da Kid and Flip bang themselves outta the Playoffs…..it would send the ratings into a skyrocket hit show. But noooo, teacher is slapping them on the back of the hands so they’ll play nice. All we need now is for NA$CAR to call a ‘double secret probation’ ala Animal House.

I’mSore: I’ve seen a couple reports on Reed’s jump to Evernham in ’09, and both are different. One report said he quietly bolted, and the other report said it was a mutual decision by Reed and AssiGanassi. Then Ricky Ricardo (Felix Sabates) opened his yap to say that I’mSore “is as good as he’s ever gonna get”. Sour grapes, Ricky. You can go back to sleep now………

Flipster: Heartwarming story from Michigan, where da Flipster met a wheelchair bound teenager (a true 99 fan), and offered to give him the trophy if he won the race. Sure enough, he won, then signed and gave the trophy to the fan. A real ‘feel-good’ story, and one that bolsters Flip’s fan appeal.

Joey: He’s the proclaimed pheenom, and heir to the 20 seat. He’s got a lot of hype to live up to. But let’s not forget that Casey Attwood was in the same position a few years ago and fell smartly on his face. Kerplunk. Ooops…..nose bleed.

Bud Shootout: New qualifying rules don’t make everyone happy. We can see why they had to get away from the Pole winners, but the top 5 of car manufacturers gets Mikey into the mix via a free pass. I say if you wanna be in the race, earn your way into it. The other gripe is regarding the length of the second segment, and those that want to cut it down certainly know what they’re talking about. Note: The one thing NA$CAR forgot to specify was the use of the green/white/checkers finish. It will probably be added, cuz running the last several laps under yellow will surely get the fans in an uproar.

AJ: Why Red Bull hasn’t re-upped Allmendingdinger for next year is a mystery, considering what he’s accomplished the last half of this year.
But, apparently the Bull boys want to consider Scott Speed for a seat, which could mean an odd man out situation. Believe me, almost any other team would love to have the Dinger, so his options are not necessarily dim.

PattyBoy: Carpentier seems to be the odd man out at Evernham next year, so he’s making the rounds. Like AJ, PattyBoy has latent talent oozing out of his pores, so he should be able to get a reasonably good ride. But like I said before, this will be a year of musical chairs, what with far more ‘free’ drivers versus the fewer number of available seats to be filled.

Da race: I still say that races are boring when one car leads 95% of the laps. What is this…….a race for second place?

Fontana: They oughta dig a hole for this track and bury it. The stands are still barely half full, thus the elite Californians must be home watching reruns of Desperate Housewives. Next year this venue will switch dates and be in the Playoffs, so it’ll be the defining moment to see if this track is viable. This year, of course, it ranks right up there with names that blend with “fiasco”, what with two of the 8 yellows being blamed on track fixtures that fell onto the track. You almost want to send them a box of duct tape so they can keep up with their maintenance schedule.

VapoRub: Vickers seemed to have a stout car, but was severely hampered by the lack of performance in the pits. Otherwise, Red Bull seems to be getting their act together. Both teams have improved remarkably during this season, which just shows you how a ton of money can relate to performance. It’s nice to have a rich uncle.

Jr. Another poor setup prior to sending the cars to California, and this one can be set squarely on Eury Jr. The more I think about it, the more he resembles LeFarte. Blood runs thicker than water, but we often forget that you usually have a great deal of pain accompanying the gushing of blood. It might be time for Jr. to move on with another crew chief. Maybe he could sweet talk the Rickster into swapping crew chiefs with JJ…….

JGR: Well, we finally saw a race where DennyHambone was the cream of the JGR crop, KidKyle was never in the mix, and TwoTonTony (yes, he’s beginning to pack the pounds back on) was never competitive. And yes, it’s very heart warming to see da Kid eating humble pie.

Gordo: Another sad performance by this once dominant team. 15th place is not bad….if you’re Mikey, Mr. Pigtail, or KennyShredder, but it’s entirely unacceptable for the once VunderBoy. Not ever being a GordoFan, I can’t imagine what some of you are going through. The shame, the almost reluctance to display your “24” when you go to the supermarket. One of the fan clubs oughta start a petition to tell the Rickster how unhappy you are. It’s time to change the phrase “Save the whale” to “Cut him loose”.

Roushketeers: Da Biff finally had a good outing. Not spectacular (JJ consistently blew his doors off), but at least he was grabbing the TV exposure from da Flipster. And MattyBoy finally woke up. He made one of his quiet, yet consistent runs from his usual bad qualifying spot (37th this time), to finish 5th. DavieRagan ran a respectable race, but JamieMac had his share of problems starting on Lap 4, and finished well back (in 24th). Jamie: Run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit……your days are numbered.

Richmond: Next week is the final race before the Playoffs, so it should be interesting. I hope we see a ‘no holds barred’ race, instead of those dingbats that are protecting their precious Points. After all, this ain’t no Powder Puff derby. This is SUPPOSED to be NA$CAR.

Heaps of 3’s all over yer local Lowes store,
Racing Maniac
#3, #88e