Track Trash – PicMyNose (aka Pocono)

Ok, let’s see if this title gets by the censors…….

If it doesn’t, they’ll have to come up with a suitable replacement.

A good race in the middle of nowhere (mid-Pennsylvania).

It’s surprising how a little asphalt can change the structure of this race.

And it was comforting to know that it wasn’t a fuel race at the end.

Title: OK, some of you think my title is a tad gross. But I’m running out of options. In the past I’ve used Pickanose, Pick-a-nose, Pocanose, Pocinanose, and Poke a Nose. I could start reusing some names, but where’s the fun in that? Ultimately, though, I may not have many more options.

TexasTerry: And here we are, replacing a has-been with another has-been. The only difference is the latest has-been has a ‘Champion’s Provisional’ (i.e. – a free ticket into the big dance). My repeated squawk is not about the Texan. It’s about the pigtailed dweeb that refuses to jump out of the seat and start running the family business. Here we have an owner/driver that is so caught up in a situation that he can’t read the handwriting on the wall. The handwriting says: “You never were a first class driver, so why should you pretend that you have a driving career to maintain?” No question that he’s a good guy, but there certainly is a question about the quality of the Petty teams, and his ability to manage the company while still driving.

JamieMac: “I’m staying put.” Blah, blah, blah. Guess what? It’s not his decision. They’ve gotta eventually cut down to 4 teams, and his track record ain’t that good. This should be a no-brainer. Why doesn’t he make the move under his own power, rather than being canned in someone else’s time frame? Sure, he’s with a top notched organization, but he’s obviously the odd man out. Wake up, Jamie… The light at the end of the tunnel is a freight train.

Headlines: In trying to come up with some semi-intelligent paragraphs, I turn to the Net for some inspiration. It’s there that I run headlong into those stupid headlines. Like: “Gordon happy with team’s progress, hoping for first win of 2008.” Well, duuuh, of course he’s hoping for his first win. He’s been having the same hope for weeks months on end now….. And like: “Occasionally pessimistic Martin takes optimistic tone at Pocono.” Hey, after a headline like this, I jump directly to the next headline. “Biffle hoping to continue climbing the Sprint Cup standings.” Have you noticed that there’s an immense amount of “hope” out there in the garage area? The word “hope” should be banned from the NA$CAR dictionary. If it were, maybe the staff writers could come up with some really, really interesting articles. As it is, they are floundering around, ‘hoping’ to come up with another solid article so they can get another paycheck.

BigBrown: After yesterday’s debacle, UPS oughta stick with NA$CAR. Yep, they got a lot of free air time, but after yesterday, it’s going down the tubes. It was a truly unfortunate situation, as they had the nation in the palm of their hands. But alas, the big steed had tire troubles and dropped like a rock.

TNT: You’d think that this was a new start-up company. That they’ve never telecast a race before. They had an auspicious beginning of their 2008 ‘season’, with poor audio quality and dead air time (where they eventually cut to a commercial). Otherwise, they did a reasonably good job, with Mr. Pigtail obviously in his realm.

Da Race: An overlooked statistic was that the first yellow came at lap 27, followed by four other yellows spaced almost evenly every 10-12 laps. During this time period, we saw the arch villain (KidKyle) squeeze JamieMac into the wall, followed by da Kid savagely wrecking his own car. To all those of you who follow the “Anybody But Kyle” mantra, you got your wish. It is refreshing to see him get his just reward.

Da Brother: We saw old FlatEars take a wild ride in the infield, and thought he was done for the day. Not so. The team was very resourceful in repairing the strut damage to the splitter, and managed to be in the hunt at the end. Jolly good show……

Da Kase: We also witnessed a mix-up in the pits for the 9 car, when everyone but the front tire changer thought they were gonna change just two tires. The subsequent re-visit to the pits to add the 3 missing lug nuts coulda been a tragedy to any mid-pack team, but the Bud boys never gave up. They regained their composure and made the best of it. And the best was another big W. For a team that was in the toilet last year, they’ve made a great comeback since the All Star race a few weeks ago.

Bombs away: It was pitiful to see Sam Hornish decompose right before our eyes. He had made such progress in the previous weeks. But Poconose must not be his cup of tea. Understandable. With three entirely different corners, it’s certainly not the average cookie cutter. His bud, Dario, didn’t fare much better, though. So some of the open wheelers are still on the learning curve.

Das Knaus: He gambled with pit strategy, and it didn’t pay off with a W as anticipated. Yet they tried, and you’ve got to give them credit for it. This action doesn’t necessarily make them any more likeable, but they earn their respect.

Jr.: This guy clearly is the cream of the Hendrick crop this year. No wins, but a steady-eddie performance almost week after week. But this begs the question: What on earth is CaseOfMears doing to retain his seat in the 5 car? Much like JamieMac, Smears oughta bolt to another team before he gets canned. Believe me…..if Smoke suddenly became available, and didn’t want to own his own team, Smears would be gone in a flash.

Kudos: To da Kase and his team for a superb effort. To VickersVapoRub for a great finish. To A.J. for a solid 12th.

Heaps of 3’s all over yer foaming Bud,
Racing Maniac #3, #88e