// MotorSportsNews.Net(work)

This week I won’t be talking about that wobbly little piece of glass. CCB (cracked crystal ball) vamoosed this last week and I’m not sure where it went. Frankly I don’t really care. Yep, that’s right I have a ‘tude!

The last I saw of it was on the floor somewhat near the stairwell, then a few days later it was gone. If I actually had any ambition and cleaned the house occasionally I probably would have picked it up and placed it back upon the fireplace (not in the fireplace) where it actually belongs and it would have been safe. But since I’m sooooo “busy” I kept stepping over it, then suddenly after 57 hours of almost tripping on it, CCB disappeared.

Its kinda like my dirty socks lying around the living room floor. Things like that somehow become part of the décor and I get used to it. Then the next thing I know the floor is clean and mysteriously my sock drawer is full again. Weird things happen at the Bernarde household!

But this week’s article isn’t about what happened to the lucid slippery devil. As all of you know I’m not one for conspiracy theories. I hate spreading those rumors, though I do have an inclination on what happened to the shinny little bald ball (I’m not talking about Craig’s head either). Though I hate to accuse anyone of any wrongdoing, I will be talking to my wife shortly.

This week is all about my sister (Lori). She came in last place in the birth order which probably has something to do with her carrying on that ulterior trait since that “special” day over 40 years ago.

She started out in this world in last place and to this day continues to live up to her beginning. The words “last” and ‘futility” seem to fit her name well. Though futile is maybe a harsh word to describe her entry into this world, I will use it because that’s what brothers do.

Allow me to augment. In 2007 she finally won a race after 118 consecutive races or if you were counting, though I wasn’t, but if I were, it would have been 1176 days between wins. That Kyle Petty type of record is one that is “heralded” in BONFIRE and will probably be in the record books for a long time. If the inevitable would happen the earliest that record would be overcome would be from Trish and it would be at least 14 months from now (by the way her and Top Spot Jody took it on the chin and dropped like a rock).

Then there’s the other record no one wants to own. Lo and behold, Lori gets her name in lights with this one as well. This time it’s for the all-time low score of the week. Her total points at Fontana from her five drivers were a whopping 278 big ones. That’s not even 56 Nascar points per driver. Heck Mikey even got more points than that at the weeping trail of blacktop in sunny southern California where it supposedly never rains.

How’s that for your resume? One very long non-winning streak and one very all-time weekly low score. Then again, what else can you expect from a Jr. fan. As a matter of fact she kinda takes after the favorite son on NA$CAR with his non-win streak. Now that I think about it, Lori and Jr. almost seem to rival that pony-tailed fella’s failure streak, give or take a race or two.

That fruitlessness was apparently inherited from our Mom (LaRae). Mom isn’t an Earnhardt fan, but a Mikey fan and I don’t think I need to say anything more about those two DEI expatriates. Since I’m on the subject of my Mom, let me elaborate a little bit of her wisdom lately. Though she’s 15th out of our 20th in the standings, she could have been quite a bit farther upward as in my neck of the woods (top 5) if she wouldn’t have done that musical driver thing.

She didn’t draft the 55 car, but in a last minute heroic type fashion she dropped Sorenson at Daytona for whom else, but Waltrip. That move cost her a “measly” 79 points with her last minute maneuver. It was probably ten minutes after the 500 was over when she emails me and says she wants Sorenson back before anyone else could snag him up.

Then “Sun”tana rolls around and Mikey ends up 28th versus Sorenson in 37th. That was 27 painful ones. So between two races she lost 106 very important points. Ol Robbie Gordon didn’t even lose that much from cheating and LaRae did things legally, though not necessarily intelligently. What does this all mean you are asking? It means LaRae would have been in the top ten in the overall standings and in shouting distance from first. It also gives me proof that Lori takes after her mother and it also tells me that its time to tell you to Keep the Fire Burning!

Ps. Where’s CCB???? Maybe Lori will find it at the race in Las Vegas this weekend. Don’t look too hard out there pleeaaaassse!